Your trauma does not define who you are, nor does it define the relationships you have with others.

As a trauma survivor myself, when I was younger, I had a bad habit of opening up my pandora’s box of past trauma to people I felt comfortable with so as to (in my mind) make people understand me better and why I was the way that I was. This approach to new relationships usually had two outcomes; they either understood and processed with me and we became friends (this was rare)… or it pushed people away entirely and I was left feeling like I had just projectile vomited over this person and was angry they decided not to stay and wear it.

Yes, I would get mad or upset that somebody didn’t want to sit around and listen to me complaining about my past, day in and day out. Totally rude of them, right?

This isn’t to say that you need to hide away those experiences and emotions to protect others feelings as well as your own, but to be more selective with WHO and HOW you decide to divulge the depths of your soul.

Jane Clapp, a Somatic Therapy Expert says it best: “Your trauma is not a Hall Pass.”

About the Author:


Ben Driskell, LMT
 is a massage therapist practicing in the greater Pensacola, FL area. Besides being a “muscle whisperer,” he greatly enjoys writing about issues related to healthy masculinity, mindful living and sacred intimacy. He hopes to aid men in embracing a lifestyle that is authentic to them and not what society says they should be.

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